A think back

I always thought life was quizzical. Never mind the fact that it wasn't always neat in my case.

These days, I'm a bunch of nerves (because of something.....).
But I have beeen coping well, I must say.
I need time.
It kills me every second I think about it, I lose my appetite and never want to eat for the rest of the day just because I can't get it or shall I say, him, out of my mind.

Its like the Jeroen incident all over again...
I'm always not attracted to bad boys in my opinion.
Let alone those with a bad reputation of changing women like they change their underwear.

Let's imagine my type of guy:

They're always blonde haired.. although I find dark-haired "stallions" sexy as hell.
I'm especially attracted to green-eyed/blue-eyed beauties.
He's not necessarily a hunk, with a killer washboard for abs.. or young and fresh.. lol
I do love huge biceps =P
A stable professional career is a sure turn-on.
A man that likes what he is doing and is confident.
Even though at times, he is a little goofy.
or nerdy.
I'm a materialistic person, so a nice sexy car is just a go-go bonus. =P
I don't expect him to chalk up my shopping bills (although it would be nice :P)

Rule of thumb: He must not be stingy!
I don't mind if you take me to a Hawker Centre for dinner, but just don't let me pay the bills (or even half of it). I don't mind doing so sometime later, I mean it should be my turn sometimes, but never on the first date! Complete turn off.. hhahahha (I'm just a little pampered poodle)..

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Fine, it might occur to you I'm expecting too much (no doubt).
But lets face it....
Most killer-looking guys won't have the dream-like, gentleman attitude.
Mr Romantic I-Love-To-Toast-Champagne-On-The-Rooftop-Jacuzzi-Watching-The-Stars
might be a player but he's every girl's dream man....

I've learnt some things thanks to the hard knock from an "accident".
People, appreciate what you have now.
Don't chase after a mere dream that is unrealistic because it will only jeopardize state of matters.

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Jonathan is really great.
Till this day I'm really sure I haven't met anyone as "golden" as him.
He really is the best.
He's sincere and generous.
And I know so.

I'm never good at expressing myself.
When I'm really into someone, I find it hard to express myself and tell him face up,
how much I love him.
How much I want him in my life,
how much I think about him all the time,
how much butterflies there are swirling in my stomach when he's around.

Sometimes, a smile from me to you speak of a thousand and one words I feel for you,
nothing can ever describe the emotions crazily shooting around.

Thats just the sort of person I am.
I do have feelings and I'm such a sensitive person too.....
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So I'll say it here.
I love each and everyone of you that's in my life.

xoxox